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One of seven children in a midwestern family, all I ever really wanted was to be a mom. After living in three states, graduating from two colleges and taking classes at three different universities while having six career changes and a ten year long eating disorder, I began to wonder if my dream would ever come true. Then it finally happened; I fell in love, first with myself and soon after with the man I would marry. Being thirty one years of age, I wondered: Am I behind schedule? Do I have time for a family?
With no time to spare, I was pregnant four months after my wedding day and boy I was ready! I had been waiting and planning for what seemed like an eternity. I read all the popular books, ate all the right foods, and was blessed with a healthy girl eight months later. I left the hospital a proud mother with my baby in one hand and a plastic bag full of papers in the other. These papers contained valuable health information that I planned on keeping as reference material. At my baby's first pediatrician visit, I received more information on single sheets. As my child aged, the plastic bag began to tear and I asked myself, “Why doesn't someone organize all this great information in a book to make a mother's life easier?”
The year passed as I went from a full time computer retouch artist at a hip and trendy studio to a full time mom in sweats working part time from my suburban home. On weekends I'd do my best to catch up on my housework, take photos and videos, journal, evaluate health care, work on baby books and spend time with my husband if all went well. My friends wondered what happened to me. I was living the American dream with no time to enjoy anything outside of my family.
Exactly eighteen months passed from the day I first gave birth when I was pushing out another girl. She was just as beautiful as my first and I promised her, too, that I would be the best mom I could be. Now it was getting a little tough but I was determined until a phone call came two months later. The confidence I had of being able to do it all was shattered with the news of my father being diagnosed with terminal lung cancer and my mom at the first stage of Alzheimer's disease. I could not sleep at night and I was approaching exhaustion and depression. What affect was I having on my children? Why now? My heart had finally found it's home and I was looking so forward to sharing my long awaited happiness.
My husband stayed close, knowing my thoughts would wonder each time a tear dropped. Then one day he asked me to write the book I always wanted for my children: The one that combines a medical record keeper with a baby book and includes the valuable health information from my plastic bag. Who better than a mom who longs for simplicity but strives for perfection? Why not? It would be the perfect way to turn my hours of mourning into something wonderful. Here was an opportunity to take the lessons of my past and use them to secure my children's future.
With my husband's emotional and financial support I completed the book's first draft in the fall of 2001. Sample versions were sent to my children's pediatrician, the national CDC, family and friends for all to edit. Overwhelming support caused me to consider what other information could help provide future answers. Places to record drug use, developmental delays, growth charts and pages to share thoughts were all added. What a wonderful gift, I thought to myself, knowing how much I relied on my parent's words as I handled my mom's finances to keep her close at a memory care facility.
In September, 2002, exactly two years from the death of my father and one month prior to the birth of my third child, a son, I went to press. The opening page dedicates the book to my dad for the values he shared. His advice and spirit provided me with needed comfort and inspiration. All dad ever expected from his kids was not the result, but that we simply gave our best effort which provides the much needed ultimate personal fulfillment and pride. The book represents mine.
It has been almost four years and I am truly happy as I approach forty years of age. I surpassed my dream by relying on my basic values; family, faith, hard work, personal expression and pride to carry me through my greatest challenge yet. I started this web site to; sell the “Childhood Medical Journal” book and CD, work from home around my children's schedule, donate to a wonderful organization that brings laughter to children with serious illnesses and rest assured that my kids will have my memories, their health records and our family history whenever needed!
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